Assist intents don't seem to like my home

Hey all!
First, I wanted to say thank you for Home Assistant. I just started playing with it over the past few months. I’m certainly no YAML/template/scripting expert, but the docs and community posts have truly been invaluable in getting things to work the way I like. I came from the Ring Alarm system, and love that the whole HA setup is running on my infrastructure. Anyway, I’ll save all the gushy stuff…

I just upgraded and figured I’d give Assist a try. Having a weird problem, though. It doesn’t seem to want to use anything from my home. It doesn’t recognize “are any doors open in Derek’s bathroom”, but it does understand “are any doors open”, the answer to which is not any, even though that bathroom’s door is open. It also says “not any” to “are any doors closed”. This sort of thing happens with every built-in sentence I’ve tried.
I’m pretty excited about Assist, and the possibility of running a completely local home voice assistant in the future. Any ideas what I broke?

Thanks in advance!