Control existing relay controlled lights

I am tryin to control some non-smart lights with an ESP-01.
The light is already working with a step relay controlled by two switches in the room so I was thinking to create an ESPHOME node that control a 3v relay to make a pulse of circa 100ms to control the existing relay, keeping the switches working, and read the status of the light, checking if the 220v is active with an octocoupler.
Am I thinkin’ it right?
Do you suggest a different approach to the problem?
Thank you!

Typically a relay would require a steady current, not a pulse.
If you know the relay is on, you can likely assume the light is on so you shouldn’t need to check for 220V.

I haven’t specified that the lights are working with a step relay, sorry!