Sounds like a really interesting project.
One question. When you say your wife is anti-wifi, is there anything behind that? that could be addressed? Reason I ask is that particularly with mesh type systems you can get very good coverage at lower cost and with greater flexibility with wifi. Also her anti-wifi stance would that also preclude stuff like z-wave? With a good z-wave network you can get great coverage and flexibility by putting controllers into back-boxes, particularly for lights, window control and blinds. There are other technologies such as the 433 protocol which can also be used for controlling lights (power to the lights still being providing by conventional wiring).
I started with a typical large’ish 1970’s house (conventional wiring only) and by adopting certain technologies and solutions have been able to implement lighting, window, blind, and zonal heating control all without any additional wiring. I’ve also got movement, entertainment and security functionality again without the additional cost of wiring. All my solutions have been ‘retro’-fitted, but have conventional controls (switches etc), on the basis that any ‘normal’ person (aka visiting parent) should be able to understand and control without a phone or tablet, yet at the same time I can automate through HA. I do have voice control (via Alexa), but its a nice to have and all the main elements of the house are independent of internet connectivity. The acceptance and use by my wife has been essential to making it all work.
I do think it worth you considering a node-zero, location for your equipment (keeps it out of the way and secure). Also putting HA on a server allows you to easily go down the route of media server etc at very little marginal cost.
I started my home automation journey with Vera, but moved away from it due to stability and functionality. Over a six months period I’ve built and integrated all of the elements described. The help and direction of the HA community have been the reason it has been not only relatively easy, but also an inspiration. Don’t hesitate to call out, there is usually someone else who has experienced whatever is your current roadblock and is willing to help.
Happy to expand more if it would help, I’m based north of Brighton.