I just disabled caching altogether. it seems to be running better although it does still have some hiccups. You are using all that RAM? I actually tuned my setup down to only 8 cores and 8GB RAM. No difference at all in speed.
This is what HAOS has, but no, even all that isn’t used. I think I average around 2.5 GB used. At one point, I had Frigate running with a number of camera feeds and was hanging around 4 GB.
HA should fly on that thing!
Just check that you installed the necessary drivers for your system and the right settings for you HAOS.
You could try a clean install in another VM of HAOS to compare and maybe copy your config over to this one.