WTH can't I add the speaker on the local 3.5mm as a media player?

I plugged my dumb speaker into the 3.5mm on the raspberry pi 4b running HA OS, but it’s not showing up in Home Assistant.
I’ve found quite a few threads with people banging their heads against this, a few stale addons like local VLC which by now have broken…
WTH can’t we do this?

dont know about the Pi, but on my intel machine local VLC works fine.

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Closing as a duplicate of:

Please vote there.

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