WTH is my database size so huge

I would suggest reviewing your History graphs for any noisy analogue entities that are not required then exclude these under Recorder.

Generally history databases only record changes so any noisy (erratically changing) analogue entities will be consuming most of the database space. Slowly changing analogue entities will not consume much space and binary entities even less.

I agree it would be helpful to know what exactly is using the most space.

EDIT: There is also this guide ...