Maybe try Tileboard, it is a webinterface for Home Assistant which can look like Homekit.
Or you could make anything like this:
Or you could go the lovelace route, a bit harder to configure but well worth it:
The code for my lovelace setup can be found here, I’ll upload my Tileboard version soon.
If your wife doesn’t use Siri you should be fine. My wife is actually more content with what I made (as it is more intelligent, much more flexible, gives more information, more buttons on one page etc etc). And the thing that annoyed my wife the most was the ever changing icons/rooms in Homekit (the problem you are currently facing). We both use lovelace and tileboard now and we never looked back. I hope it helps.