I had a 6ft cable I used to setup my ratgdo so I knew it worked. I found another that was 3ft that I used.
I also think I was impatient with connecting. Sometimes if the “connecting” box was taking too long I would refresh the browser. I think this held the connection open and a reboot was needed.
ESP Tool was the best tool for me. I was able to use it to verify I could connect to the device and that the device booted. After confirming with this I could then use ESPHome to connect to it to install firmware.