so far this is the closest thing I could find. anyone else know of a reader that works or might work?
Closest to what?
Apple watches are able to read NFC tags and run automatons as for Google/android based watches they need to have the hardware for it and should list it on the specifications page for them, else you will have to look at DIY watch options like Open-SmartWatch | Makerfabs to try implement it yourself or have someone else attempt to do it for you that knows how.
Until then it’s simpler to just bring up the phone to activate the NFC tag when needed.