From your description it sounds to me like you are setting up the button presses in the Phoscon software? It would be better to set things up in home assistant.
The functionality of the remote like button X pressed → do Y, is not inbuilt into the remote, it’s the Tradfri hub that does this. When you connect the remote to the ConBee you are “only” able to catch what button has been pressed and then create the logic in home assistant.