I believe this Athom device (link below) would allow you to do your own functions with the various types of ‘presses’ you could program for the button on the controller. Make sure to order the ‘tasmota’ version not homekit.
Another thing to consider is the type of LED strips you want to control, this is a RGB only controller. Will not control the ‘smart’ LED strips nor strips with more than RGB, for example 4 or 5 colors strips that include warm and/or bright white. You can still control a bright/warm white strip with no RGB colors, you just plug the warm and bright white lines into say the Red and Green lines.
The challenge with most of the DIY setups is that they do not have cases that will fit well in the ‘significant other acceptance’ spectrum. You can 3D Print enclosures. Another route (read rabbit hole) I went was to find a Tuya based device that was in the SOA spectrum, the challenge with these is that you have to accept the ‘data and control is via Asia’ not all local, or in my case I hacked the device to replace the firmware in it to make it local only control. Second link below is to the warm/bright white Tuya strip I am using. Note, it has three buttons I can program.
I’ve not seen any Zigbee LED strip controllers that offer any buttons on the device controller that you can control. That said, you could easily place a Ikea (or similar) zigbee switch near the strip and control the zigbee LED strip via Zigbee2MQTT or ZHA. I use one of these small Ikea switches to control some under cabinet lights in the kitchen, works very well.
ATHOM pre Flashed Tasmota RGB LED Light Strip Controller 5V-12V
https://www.aliexpress.com/i/3256801908951059.html?gatewayAdapt=4itemAdapt
Tasmota Template
{"NAME":"LS5050C-TAS","GPIO":[32,0,0,0,417,0,0,0,416,0,418,0,0,0],"FLAG":0,"BASE":18}
GPIO
GPIO# Component
GPIO0 Button1
GPIO1 None
GPIO2 None
GPIO3 None
GPIO4 PWM2
GPIO5 None
GPIO9 None
GPIO10 None
GPIO12 PWM1
GPIO13 None
GPIO14 PWM3
GPIO15 None
GPIO16 None
FLAG None
Ustellar 40ft Smart Tunable White Led Strip Light 3000K-6000K App WIFI Cool White Tape Light
And a lesson I learned, don’t keep the LED strip in the roll while you are testing. This is an under appreciated fire starter!
Good hunting!