Having been a keen Home Assistant hobbyist I thought I would share my self diagnosis and observation of some of the more common traits and behaviours I believe I have exhibited throughout the journey. The observations have not been evidence with scientific or medical factual or statistical data, and remain purely for consideration to others, whom may be interested in self diagnosing. Curiously, some similar behavioural traits have surfaced in other areas of the subjects’ hobbies.
Warning – this diagnosis contains certain adult themes and references. Anybody susceptible to feeling of self doubt and lack of ability should only proceed with the mindset that the humorous condition this diagnoses seeks to provide. It is in no particular order, digresses and looses focus, and makes inaccurate statement. In what is simply my semi intoxicated ramblings half way through my 4 hour redeye flight, ( in business class upgraded with points if you don’t mind) Its author simply seeks to provide ‘something back’ to the ‘THACF’ ( see section 7 below).
Lets begin.
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- TNN. - Total Noob NFI Here, may well be the first noticed trait. The newcomer (Total Noob) excitedly researches other users’ setups, systems and capability. He sees a time when his home is automated, and integrated, with most lights and common appliances controlled by his godlike presence. He has self confidence and almost religious belief, he will “get there”. The realisation of the onset of “overwhelming rush of information and lack of knowledge” ( OROIALOK) has yet to materialise.
2.- OROIALOK Overwhelming Rush of Information and Lack of Knowledge The enthusiast pours over pages and pages of documentation, youtube videos and community forum topics. The options of where to even start, let alone the initial configuration he may commence with are decisions and choices in a constant state of flux. Stability of the initial roadmap will not have clarity, nor transpire for at least 24 - 48 hours or more of solid research and investigation. The first of many plans is beginning to form, as the TNN slowly emerges out of OROIALOK. He commences this next and all important step along the journey. Selection of Proposed Hardware Platform. SOPHP.
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SOPHP - Selection of Proposed Hardware Platform This decision is a difficult one, exacerbated by the urgent need to commence implementation of ones’ initial operational capability. He ponders numerous options and the pros and cons each option presents. He has little to no coding exposure, Understands a Docker to be slang for someone associated with shipping and harbour operations. He operates a QNAP NAS, and has a raspberry Pi running Kodi and is drawn between the Pi platform, ( in the belief the ease and simplicity of setup, outweigh the steep learning curve of establishing your own NAS based shipping operation - AKA Docker) The Pi based solution is far easier and more expedient to establish. This will be the First Hardware Platform (FHP) The subject, who now refers to himself in the third person, metamorphisies into the newly invigorated state - Beginning Understanding of The First Unachievable, Configuration. (BUTFUC)
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- BUTFUC. Beginning Understanding of The First Unachievable, Configuration Early onset of BUTFUC for the TNN immediately follows the powering up of the FHP. Although he has meticulously followed the step by step instructions, most graciously depicted in the youtube videos posted by the titans of the game, such as DrZZS, BRUH and others, as well as the more formalised HA documentation pages, his system simply does not initiate. He is suffering the first of many BUTFUC’s this journey will administer. Un deterred he pushes on. Unbeknown to this TNN. elation and achievement will soon be realised. He will see his first ever Blue House Screen. BHS.
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- BHS - Blue House Screen. - Not to be mistaken with the Blue Screen of Death Blue screen of death - Wikipedia - This screen may well be the earliest recorded achievement indicator along the journey to date. The BHS is the first indication that a successful instance of HA may well now be on its way to be running. The wait begins. In what feels like an eternity, something somewhere in the background may or may not be happening. The all knowing all seeing almost fictional superhero - DrZZS has inferred that this process may well take in excess of 20 minutes. too many variables could come into effect, and this timeline could be anywhere from 5 - 45 minutes, in the mindset of the TNN. A screen that will unfortunately become a source of somewhat frustration, with fear of a BUTFUC, BHS will be an all to common occurance.
Alas, like the golden glowing sunrays’ of morning’s first light on a butterflys’ wings, The elation and subsequent dopamine rush will not be matched for days if not weeks. ( Ref section X – “The Light-Bulb Moment, AKA the Phillips Hue Lightbulb Moment or PHLBM, to be explored in further detail later in this diagnosis). The Inaugural Home Assistant instance is operational. A virgin build, completely bare of switches, lights, sensors, automations and lack the plethora of dependencies, has materialised almost to the non belief of TNN. it’s real. He refreshes the webpage. Success. and like sands through the hourglass, a moment he will cherish forever. The sheer enormity of the complexity, details and unknown unknows are on the horizon. OROIALOK will pail into insignificance compared with “Future Architectural Realisation of Configurable-Multidimensional Effect. FARC-ME
- – FARC-ME. Future Architectural Realisation of Configurable-Multidimensional Effect The earliest onset of FARC-ME begins. The almost unfathomable concepts begin to solidify. Exposure to the ever increasing unknown software terms, systems, platforms apps. YAML. – Its been read about – Now it is a critical path requirement to progress. MQTT. Again, its simplicity was severely underestimated. Automations, scripts, JSON, Boolean Inputs. More and more, this whole journey begins to look out of reach of mere mortals, such as TNN. A ‘Node Red’ – surely this goliath is named after one of the most common unofficial feared afflictions in marine core covert ops and Hollywood history – a ‘Code Red’. What Is a Code Red in the Marine Corps? - Synonym. He persists. Determined to achieve some form of control over what is until now an inanimate object i.e. a single phillips Hue light bulb,
The persistence to progress is maintained. Out there, in the anonymous World of the World Wide Web lay salvation. THACF The home assistant community forum .
- THACF. The home assistant community forum A place of salvation, and a seemingly endless resource of support, where likeminded TNN’s openly ( albeit anonymously ) bare their all. Instant admission and self recognition of TNN status – a psychological tactic, sometimes deployed to elicit pity and empathy from those more capable and knowledgeable, in order to seek the truth ( it’s out there) and basic syntax corrections. A tactic that often works, albeit credited to the willingness and generosity of those on the other side of this universe, those who have survived this journey or indeed formally studied those black arts ( coding and networking). THACF is frequented by some of the most generous and gifted HA individuals. Those that donate uncounted hours and days assisting likeminded individuals. The cause for their motivation is unknown. What is known is this. – It certainly isn’t financially based. These individuals have been know to ‘donate’ 1,000’s if not 100,000’s indiscriminately to unknown persons. Lines of Code. Gold. Working, proven, operational code. A completely intangible asset, normally associated with underworld figures and the depths of the dark web. This mystical ‘language’, spoken only by precious few can simply be cut and pasted in a heartbeat. Before your very eyes, an MQTT switch materialises. An automation is generated. A system is born. Blessed are the coders, for they are charged with untangling this tangled web.
All of this has occurred in a universe that now seems so long long ago, and far far away… This long and arduous journey has seen triumph, failure, exponential learnings and success. Hurdles which seemed unsurpassable – The WAF – Wife Approval or Acceptance factor ( self explanatory), along with so many other common traits…
- SSHAS – System status Hyper awareness syndrome – One’s acute awareness of the condition of every sensor, switch, status and timing of every automation available.
- FOSCAM. – No, not the CCTV video device, this is far more serious Fear Of System Crash And Mangle The affected individual waits nervously, as at any stage the entire HA world will be swallowed by an unrecoverable, unforeseen apocalyptic like event.
- CTOUOCOP Consideration To Upgrade or Change Operating Platform – After considerable thought, seeking a faster, more reliable (?) platform the sufferer decides to undertake an almost unsurpassed option make an unprecedented leap from the already challenging HASSIO RaPi system to a fully NAS Based docker installation. This truly is, setting oneself up for failure, on a grand scale.
- LOHIAEMC Lack of Hardware integration and engineering modification capability those afflicted by this condition do not own screw drivers, side cutters or even a soldering station. ( or ‘SODDERING’ station as our counterparts in the US of A may pronounce ‘soLdering) They are slaves to commercial of the shelf devices, that do not required modification or opening. The mere mention of the phrase soldering headers to a Sonoff device in order to install TASMOTA send shivers down the spine of the sufferers.
- ESDCOSARS ** End State Dream Condition Of Stable and Reliable Operations.** An unrealistic fixation on an even more unreachable state. An individual has the perception that one day, he or indeed she, will reach a balance in life where home automation euphoria has found a stable state, without the need for further modification, upgrade or addition. The carrot is truly so close to this donkey, yet, as in the metaphor, simply unobtainable.
Well, as the spritely cabin crew now warn of imminent inflight deauthorization of laptop accessibility (IIDOLA) – (a whole other publication, ‘The psychology of domestic flying – a sufferers point of view’) I must hand this morsel over to THACF. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to add your own affliction or observation. They are endless.
