So I found a temporary workaround…
disclaimer: ONLY DO THIS IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. MAKE A NOTE THAT YOU DID THIS. DON’T POST PROBLEMS TO FORUMS WITH THIS ACTIVE. ONLY DO THIS IF YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PROBLEM ISN’T GOING TO START LITERAL FIRES IRL. k phew.
Find your Hassio directory. For me it was /usr/share/hassio. It will have a bunch of json files like this:
/usr/share/hassio » ls
addons audio backup discovery.json homeassistant jobs.json observer.json ssl
addons.json audio.json cli.json dns homeassistant.json media services.json tmp
apparmor auth.json config.json dns.json ingress.json multicast.json share updater.json
Create the jobs.json file.
In it, put {"ignore_conditions": ["healthy"]}
This isn’t safe, but things are working now. I will have my coffee in the morning when my Hass routine makes it 