I’d suggest a Pi4, and an A2 SD card (designed for applications), you’ll notice the speed difference.
For Zigbee, if you’re using Zigbee2MQTT have a look at this thread for a pre-flashed stick, with a case and antenna.
The difference between the three Zigbee options are in the supported devices, how easy it is to add a new device, and how you configure it. I’m very happy with Zigbee2MQTT, but I know others who’re very happy with zha or deconz. Best thing to do is to look at the docs for each, and see what you think.