Not sure what geo area you are located. For me in US, buying something with UL or similar listing is probably first and largest influence. It is fun to do DIY stuff, but factor in safety and ‘significant other acceptance factor’. Also, IMHO, from a price perspective it is a no win from either DIY or Off the ‘TOP’ shelf, it is a money pit .
I have DIY stuff turning on/off mains devices, that said I feel better when it is a certified device.
Doing sensors and non-mains voltage (however even 12 volt LEDs, though they will not electrocute you, but they will easily start a fire) stuff first with DIY ESP devices is a good place to start to get a comfort level with your abilities and the vendors.
There is some amazing and fun stuff you can do with ESP devices, USB wall warts and 3d printed enclosures. So do experiment and reach out to the fun and helpful community here and other ESP related communities. For example, I about to go down the ‘rabbit hole’ of ‘local voice control’. I am about to deploy several ESP32 devices with microphones and USB-C wall warts around the house to see if I can get near or on par to Google Assistant, Siri or Alex voice commands with no cloud component.